I miss home.

So, grad school is finally over for me and I spent last 2 weeks not doing much, which is just what I wanted to do :) I'll be moving to Seattle in about a month, so this is pretty much the golden holiday between school and a job - but the problem is that most of my friends here have gone home for the holiday, and I'm bored. I mean, I started studying because I'm so bored. Seriously...=_= I've had a bit of a holiday myself too visiting Seattle just before Christmas to find an apartment and catching up with friends there and going on a ski trip, and am leaving to NY in a week or so to be with my extended families there. But spending the festive season alone is so hard, and the fact that I'm pretty much stuck here against my will (due to visa issues) makes it so much harder to bear the homesickness! I am physically in pain missing home so much :(

So in my idleness, I made a list of things I miss the most about home. There are tonnes of them of course, but the following are what I could logically write about (in no particular order :p). Originally, I meant to write something grand about looking back at the last 2.5 years of grad school, but I've done that in my head so much lately and have already dealt with the bitter-sweetness of it, I didn't want to go through it again..

- Accent/Slang
I was surprised at myself when, after spending a year or so in the States, my accent was pretty much Americanized (with strong R's and weaker T's) and I started writing "~ize" instead of "~ise" without thinking. Well, spell checker may be to blame for the latter case for silently pressuring me to adopt the American spelling with its glaring red squiggly lines or cheeky auto correctors, but as for the accent, I was quite determined not to lose kiwi accent (however much I had) and for the first semester at UIUC at least, new friends would ask me if I was from Australia (granted, most of them haven't heard NZ accent before). To be honest, I think I may have been trying to outdo my appearance as a Korean and show or prove my identity as a Kiwi, as if I had to convince anyone, including myself (well, I feel "sometimes both, sometimes neither" regarding my identity as Kiwi or Korean most of the time, but this is way beyond what I want to write about me missing Kiwi accent or slang). Anyways, through my teaching job as a TA, I sorta had to take on the American accent as I was getting sick of students asking for clarifications - for example, whenever I said "can't", they would understand it as "can" and get into all kinds of confusion. So, at times I tried to sound American and the accent gradually came on and stayed I guess. In fact, I had this conversation with my sister a while back, that trying to speak in Kiwi accent now feels like I'm "trying" to sound Kiwi, and we were somewhat saddened about how "unnatural" it has become. I still find Kiwi accent easier to listen to though. Like whenever I'm watching FOTC clips on youtube or when I boarded Air NZ a year ago to visit home and heard the crew members speaking, I felt so happy in my guts :D.
As for slang, I don't think I used much of it either back home or here, but just last week when my American friend mentioned that Americans don't really use the term "dodgy", I complained that it is a perfectly suitable word for the thing I was explaining and I couldn't think of any other words to replace it. In general, I miss hearing phrases like "good on ya" or "mate (that sounds more like mite)" or "chur" or "eh?" in everyday conversation. Also hearing Maori phrases like "kia ora" or "haere mai" or "ka pai" here and there, on TV, radios etc..
Oh yeah, I miss Maori place/location names too.

- People
I don't mean just the dear friends and family back home, but in general I find that Kiwis are more easy-going and relaxed than Americans. There are of course things I find more likable about Americans compared to Kiwis, but I do miss the Kiwi personality. For example, Kiwis say "you are welcome" when I say "thank you", Americans (most of whom I've said "thank you" to) say "mm-hmm!" which sounds to me like "oh for sure you should thank me!".

- Fruits and veges
I miss "exotic" fruits like Kiwi and Feijoa as well as common ones like nectarines and peaches - because most of them are just so darn expensive here!! Only fruit I find affordable here is banana... Kiwis and Feijoas are somewhat rare here, yes, but I saw them in Seattle last summer for a whooping $2 per each price tag. FOR EACH! It's not just the fruits but veges too. I remember going to Fresh World or Simply Fresh in Northcote with me mumsy and buying a whole basket full of fresh stuff for about $12 during season. Here, I can get 6 droopy kiwis (ignoring the value difference of NZD and USD here). It's like Americans can't help but eat cheaper processed food.

- Fish & Chips and Burgerfuel + kumara chips
It's not just the burgers and fries but other things like flat white, tim tams and affordable and yummy sushi too. I guess I miss Fish & Chips and burgerfuel the most because they were a sort of regular eat-out food for my family; meaning that all members of my family just luurrve them and we would eat them whenever we felt like there was something to celebrate or on special days - sure, we did go out to eat at fancier places too, but these were the "no-fail" choices in any occasions. So, maybe it's more of that family thing and the pleasant memories associated with these food that I miss than the actual food items...

- Kiwi summer
What do I need to say more, other than the BBQ, beaches, weather and pohutukawa trees...

- Nature
Mostly the beaches and how near by they are. I miss Auckland's walking tracks along the beaches so much. I miss the openness of the beaches and horizon. I miss experiences like finding a baby penguin all by itself near some cliffs at the Shakespeare park. I think this is due to Illinois being smack in the middle of the USA with no shorelines, and the fact that I haven't really seen a great big white sandy beach in the States as yet... What else... seeing dolphins and whales on a tour boat in the bay of islands, going fishing at Leigh, seeing Rangitoto island from just about anywhere in Auckland... I also miss seeing ferns, flex and cabbage trees in any of the tracks around Auckland.
But at least I am grateful that my job is in Seattle, where there are tonnes of national parks and hiking tracks, ski fields and beaches (well, within drivable distance).
I really should have learned to surf or scuba dive while I was back home.. only if I could swim well enough :S

When I first arrived here, I had every intention of going back, maybe not right away but eventually. Actually, this was still the plan until just before last summer. Right now, I simply don't know and I don't want to plan it.. I'll see how it turns out and where it leads to.